aspirations and hard work are not bad, selfish ambition is bad. trying to realize my potential isn’t bad, thinking i can do it all alone is bad. making much of work isn’t bad, making much of myself is bad. and when i’m not satisfied i pray i won’t say “there is a lot i need to change” but rather that i’d say “there is a lot i need Him to...
[[MORE]] lately i really haven’t been doing much at all. i rarely get to have times like these when time is all free and the house is all mine and there’s nowhere i have to be. i want to do so much nothing that my introvert gets tired of being alone and i become sick of it and make the most of the rest of my summer. sorry if i was invited somewhere but didn’t go or could have...
[[MORE]] so lately i’ve realized the magnitude of my brattiness. i always love to quantify and identify what makes me upset. i know precisely what i think is wrong with the way things are or the way people are and i don’t do a single thing to try and change it. i never ask God or anyone to change what’s wrong and it always stops at discontent. i forget too often that i need to...
even fancy microphone cannot save voice help T__T
clinical experience???? o___________o
thought vomit #5
[[MORE]] is it just me or do dreams get suddenly weirder in the summer? first i play the clarinet in orchestra then i’m killing wasps and putting them in a paper bag now i’m in an obstacle course that i have to close my eyes to complete and it’s in the basement of church? it’s okay though, there’s water everywhere so if i fall it won’t hurt and...
it’s the lights on the water and the food you like that i wish i could put in a box to share with you.
hey hey you [[MORE]] i understand you really don’t like small talk and you probably hate initiating it even more i’m sorry i’m not really one to approach either but it’s okay i know now not to take things personally and i dunno i think we could be really good friends if coincidence treated us differently but maybe we were just dealt a bad hand i know i...
stop thinking you’re totally original when everything anyone is is derivative. <3
mashup project is a go. also, mcatting is not nearly as bad as i expected it to be…the material isn’t hard at all. there’s just a lot and idk any anatomy so i need to learn that and do a thorough review of bio, but physics and orgo are delightfully easy. i think it’ll be fun. it’ll be like the SATs except a lot longer and all science. OHOHOHOHOHO
It look like his diaper dropped. We see that a lot in the baby room [at church].– Mom, on Justin Bieber’s harem pants
seeking success vs. taking responsibility
answer: colossians 3:23.
[[MORE]] my feelings rarely match up with what happens in my life. especially if there isn’t anything reasonable or tangible to struggle with. i think these eye-of-the-storm days are too quiet, too deadly calm to be right, and i feel much more peace and fulfillment at times so chaotic that my only sustenance is prayer. i crave the “fight” in the good fight, and only feel truly...
you are not as weird or random or crazy as you think you are stop thinking it makes you special because that’s everyone <3
thought vomit #4
[[MORE]] today i learned that “professor” > “doctor” when you talk to people who both teach and have PhDs like you should call qualified individuals “professor” instead of “doctor” anyway so PROFESSOR castner told me today that in germany they have “herr” or “frau” before your titles and they just use them all at...
thought vomit #3
[[MORE]] dude my neck is so long that it looks dislocated sometimes like whoever thought long necks are graceful never realized how freaky they can be when they’re bent necks are weird, man
new summer project! i shall be a locksmith :)
works in progress
[[MORE]] -fix GPA. -get back in shape. -quit lifeguarding or make certain i have no permanent shifts. -get cleaner, learn popping/bboying. -commit to one fellowship. -commit to lab research. -don’t take too many things and then end up with Bs because there isn’t time to study. -study between classes. -be less reclusive. especially when i feel like being reclusive. be less...
Up in the morning’s no for me– Robert Burns
okay if i drop out i guess i can be a taiwanese elevator girl or a maid or something
[[MORE]] wow why am i going to get a B+ in greek… by .35 percent and orgo is just agh i want to do really well not only for myself but i really like my professor and i think he’s doing a good job. i haven’t done that great throughout the semester because i think i may have put a bit too much on my plate and because the things i chose to do require wholehearted...
uhhhh iunno why i’m not sick yet not eating for 20 hours was a bad mistake
dancing gives me the very best kind of sore feet :)
there is no greater joy for me than to take care of Your sheep.
wait… i think i remember my purpose here now it has nothing to do with any science no gain for myself but because of it i can lie awake knowing i have to be awake again in three hours smiling and thanking God.
i am perfectly aware of how unreasonable and difficult i can be and i’m sorry for not being better at containing it
the source of a lot of my discontent is that i hate asking. for some reason i find it impolite and selfish to ask for things for yourself. i hate asking for help, i hate asking people for things, i hate asking people to move so i can get through, i hate that look on people’s faces that silently says, “what do you want from me please stop talking” and i absolutely hate feeling...
breathing easy one moment, clenching back tears the next repeat.
he’s pretty good live. urbana 2012.
humility and worth
and everything i’ve learned about it this year just so that i don’t forget in the future [[MORE]] -we are valuable because God gives us worth. He gave us worth when he made us, with all our talents and different qualities. He also gives us worth when He uses us in His work. -we cannot make ourselves worth any more or less. we are all intrinsically valuable as His masterpieces....
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 12:15
too long don't read
blogging therapy [[MORE]] it always seems like i have the least time when i want it the most consistently got 50s on every orgo exam this semester and i need a perfect score on the final to have even a chance of doing well in this class yeah i’m going to quit lifeguarding… freaking inservice meetings right before reach practices right before monday exams i really want to do...
sweet, sweet blessings orgo is actually clicking thank you Jesus x1847628730
how crazy is it that the God of the whole universe actually knows us and cares about us like enough that He’d interrupt the most important thing above and beyond the earth just to pay attention to our stupid concerns honestly i’d rather just brush people off if i were in that position tell them “who really cares that you accidentally broke your mom’s vase” ...
i love reach and i hope they had fun at the diner however, orgo and macro and greek wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo this might be my first all nighter except maybe not because i don’t believe in not getting sleep
so tired in so many ways i think i know what it means when people say they feel dead
[[MORE]] i’m so scared and i really just don’t know anything i don’t know anything for orgo and i’m probably going to get a C and i don’t have enough time to study as much as i want to and this just had to be the busiest week and i wanted to get things done earlier but then there was homework and hormones and i’m just so tired and i just want to cry. i just...
eeeeelkjlskjlsdfjklj we’re translating josephus in greek :P the passage is about isaac and jacob taking his brother’s birthright
dat final schedule
[[MORE]] 3 8ams and the remaining two on the last day and one of those is orgo this is either awesome or awesomely crappy
fight the good fight. don’t compromise when it comes to love.
you are valuable.
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (Matthew 10:29-31, NIV)
please don’t fall victim to the ways of this dying world. i know it’s hard not to find success that way but He wants so much more for you.
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the...– (Romans 12:16, ESV)
and now i’m just a child crying and screaming and pointing at what i can’t have right now soul aches.